In the name of the World United Noobs (henceforward WUN), His Noobesty, csaBa (aka fkin lagger, aka noob, aka big cheater, aka wh off csaba, aka casaba etc.), the General Secretary of the WUN's Central Committee greetings you, noobs of the globus here in UK, in Middle-East Europe and all over the world!

While he was wandering here and there, visited many servers, played many games, planted many bombs, later defused them, killed and was being killed, owned and was being owned, he faced the cruel fact: he is a cheater. After his trip he went to the place of the pure Noobity (East from Austria, South from Slovakia, west from Romania) and had been thinking about being cheater, cheats, whs and aims moreover about the savage speedhack for ages. He sat down under a tree and right there under that specific tree he attained the Enlightment for the sake of all the noobs of the world.
Behold the Word of Wisdom of how can you avoid to be a cheater!

Comerades!

There are many maps in the world of cs, however lots of the servers play few of them. At the first glance the maps seem to be big, and you can lost in them, but after a few play your miserable brain can recognize places and habits of the enemy. If you know these you can be prepared to surprise the enemy. And if you surprise them you have the advantage. If you expect enemy mostly you will kill. E.g. some boxes very good for hiding, others for camping with awp. Some places good for running away, others good for stealing a march on them. Therefore If you want to avoid to be a cheater you must empty your consciusness and forget all the maps you know.
Also must NOT shoot these places just because having guess but only if you can see enemy there. Anyway avoid to shoot walls and boxes. E.g. if you can see an enemy running behind the wall must NOT shoot the points of the walll where he should run forward.
Obviously videos like this are forbidden and harmfull to see:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLq-NJTxmik
You are doing well if you are ignoring the recoil of your gun.  More bullets means more chances to not hit your opponent. If the enemy is in your sight use all of the power of your right index finger and push the left mouse button. The crosshair fortunately changes its shape so it doesn't bother you in not-aimining. The crosshair anyway must NOT keep in the headlevel ever. Since you start the round point your crosshair to the ground so there is no chance to give a headshot the popping up enemy.
Do not use unusual guns regularly (like Mac, M249, shotguns, Scout sniper gun). If you do so you can learn how they work, how can you use them usefully. (However it is recommended to use plenty of guns during a game but once you used one change it. ) E.g. the scout easier to use as sniper than the awp. It is lighter and you can move faster with it. Not so deadly but much better to practice the scoping aim and giving HS wich causes damage over 200.
Every server has its own pros. Pros cant be killed twice in the row, specially not with HS. Hence must NOT kill pros of the server.
Be aware of people who have been already banned from the server by using cheats. They know how cheatprograms work and sure they'll be the first accuser. Remember there is a very thin line between being smart (or having luck) and using cheat.
Also be aware of people who underachieve themselves. They are angry, annoyed and frustrated. They cant consider that humans are frail and everybody has good and bad days, everybody has lucky and unlucky strikes.
Avoid to kill both of them, as well.
His Noobesty knows that quit using head- or earphones could crap amusement of the game up, however he recommends to not use head- or earphones.
Lets start from the begining.
In the game almost everything has some specific sound. Steps, guns, reloading of the gun, picking up gun, defusing bomb, planting bomb, jumping, felling down from the higher place, hurting yourself, dying of somebody, opening/closing doors, using ladder (unless by pushing the crouch button), flashlighting etc. Some surfaces have specific sound while running on them like gritty roads, floor of houses, water. If you use headphones you can hear these voices and if you are still weak and full of sins and havent follow the rule about forgetting everything and you still know the map you can know where your enemy is, what he is doing, where he is heading to, where he should pop up. Even you can say there is one or more enemies. Sometimes they say they were walking (not making noise by steps) but they are hurry, thats why they release the walk-button just for a while of one step. They can even be detected by the nearby people because of this tiny-little noise.
It follows from these that you are doing well if you think you are inaudible, undetected. Never bother about walking. Running you can find easier the peace of the death.
But first and foremost accuse everybody who killed you...after all noobs have lots of time for typing.
Follow these words and you'll never be accused as cheater.
Signed by His Noobesty, General Secretary of the WUN's Central Committee, csaBa

:blink:

не осилил стоко текста да еще и на энглише прочитать :(  ест у кого резюмэ? :ninja:

csaBa написал:

Is that all you invented stuffs? but seems awesome though

sFFolo4 написал:

не осилил стоко текста да еще и на энглише прочитать :(

I know that my way of writing could understand with difficulties. I'd put in the whole text in the google translator but I fear its gonna lost its real meaning.
However, if in spite of its lenght you are eager to catch it use this link: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/ (quiet usefull and it has a visual thesaurus, simply lovely)
Anyway I use bold fonts at the important parts so try to make easier the comprehension.

Polkovnik  написал:

Is that all you invented stuffs?

I only experienced and wrote them down. this is the life...the real one :D

Px написал:

:blink:

:P

csaBa написал:

sFFolo4 написал:

не осилил стоко текста да еще и на энглише прочитать :(

I know that my way of writing could understand with difficulties. I'd put in the whole text in the google translator but I fear its gonna lost its real meaning.
However, if in spite of its lenght you are eager to catch it use this link: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/ (quiet usefull and it has a visual thesaurus, simply lovely)
Anyway I use bold fonts at the important parts so try to make easier the comprehension.

Polkovnik  написал:

Is that all you invented stuffs?

I only experienced and wrote them down. this is the life...the real one :D

a lot of text :wacko:

I have just realized that 5 years how long could be. Back in the 90's, in the old times Толсто́й : Война и мир was a lot of text. Nowaday is a newspaper article!? Anyway I try to answer in your way.

oi m8, omg lol rofl

sFFolo4 написал:

text

:yes: it is a text (btw clever statement)

sFFolo4 написал:

a lot of

:unsure: it depends
do not read :no: if u aint noob
if u aint read english :no:
if u aint like extrem sports like reading :huh:
or uve got better things to do
but dont worry ;) reading is hard but not harmfull :shok:

Та ну, стока читать... :unsure:

Timewasting. :/

а может во избежание жертв тему закроем?

FoboS написал:

Timewasting. :/

could be for you, dear fobos, but not for those who are tired of listening the blames of the others. I see every day many guys make basic mistakes while playing cs...and they have the biggest mouth
anyway good for practice english, gaining some sense of irony

csaBa написал:

but not for those who are tired of listening the blames of the others

Oh, come on. Accept it like a compliment :)

csaBa написал:

I see every day many guys make basic mistakes while playing cs

Me too, and not only  in cs.

csaBa написал:

anyway good for practice english

Yeah, just for that, I'd say.

FoboS написал:

csaBa написал:

but not for those who are tired of listening the blames of the others

Oh, come on. Accept it like a compliment :)

You are right (oi these bloody passions)
But after being banned in the last 2 days from 2 servers..I wrote it under serious provocation

FoboS написал:

csaBa написал:

I see every day many guys make basic mistakes while playing cs

Me too, and not only  in cs.

:laughing:
However I hope  my experiences might be usefull for others and I would hear theirs, as well. I can chit-chat at home but where can I have thought-opening conversations about cs if not here?

FoboS написал:

csaBa написал:

anyway good for practice english

Yeah, just for that, I'd say.

That is something, isnt it

Так в итоге, какую смысловую нагрузку несет все вышесказанное? Не стрелять через ящики, не играть в кс, или практиковать язык, вы мне можете объяснить? :huh:

FoxMulder написал:

вы мне можете объяснить? :huh:

"многабукав" как самоутверждение. :ninja:

FoxMulder написал:

Так в итоге, какую смысловую нагрузку несет все вышесказанное? Не стрелять через ящики, не играть в кс, или практиковать язык, вы мне можете объяснить? :huh:

Well if they cant digest wrapped, I am gonna open it for them.

First of all:
Irony: when you say something but you mean the opposit. Usually by using a special (ironic) tone of your voice (or smilies in writing) like this:
csaBa your text is so clear as Virgin Mary's heart :wacko:

[for advenced http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define. … dict=CALD]

So what I meant in this sea of words:
The only way they dont think you are a cheater if you play like a noob.
I also tried hide some advices in the text like: always keep your crosshair at headlevel or always use headphone or dont shoot without thinking. These are not so obvious things as we all think.
This exemple helps perhaps (it really happened):

Johnny sits in the corner waiting for the enemy. The enemy (as he should) runs in and have a quick look around, see Johnny crouching there and fires a short salvo (3 bullets) into him. Johnny also fires but misses (his crosshair swhere at the enemy's feet) so johnny dies. he just cant understand how could it happen? Wh? or aim? speedhack perhaps?
I could tell plenty of stories like this...but forget about it!
I have a hope that one of these Johnnies is gonna read it and learn sthing. And I hoped (in pass tense) if I write it in the sarcastic way its gonna be funny (amusing at least).
Obviously I missed it :haha: Shame on me!
I hope you get it, if not...well, dont hurt yourself

Ps.: what does многабукав mean?

многа букаф+многа букаф=аффтар побрейся!

csaBa написал:

what does многабукав mean?

something like wanking :ninja:

FoxMulder написал:

какую смысловую нагрузку, вы мне можете объяснить?

Вона працює :ninja:

Вони пишуть англiйською. Вона працює. :ninja:

FoboS написал:

csaBa написал:

what does многабукав mean?

something like wanking :ninja:

well its overwanked

csaBa написал:

well its overwanked

:laughing:

Man, I don't understand. What were you going to explain us?

IRON написал:

Man, I don't understand. What were you going to explain us?

:laughing:
You guys just love to read me, dont you.
So: I, csaBa, pro of pros, csmaster of csmasters, player of players etc. I was telling you the Truth which were:

Never read Tolstoy in english behind a box unless you've got your prick in your hand to wank it. (It shakes you up)
Item never accuse anybody with your HS over 200 unless you have a proper gun to do it.
Item never waste your time ignoring frustrated people unless you haven't got better things to do.
Item never don't think you are better than others unless it isn't true.
Item You can easily avoid to be a cheater if you read the lot of text above unless you are a cheater.

I hope this summary helps you to understand the Truth. But do not quail! Comprehending the Trueth isn't so easy. (Nay it can happen with you just like with me: you lost It). Take your time and enjoy!

Я не вижу смысла в этой теме... :unsure:
Цаба, что ты хотел выразить в этой теме? :huh:

шо читерить ета плоха...

Freelancer написал:

Я не вижу смысла в этой теме... :unsure:
Цаба, что ты хотел выразить в этой теме? :huh:

Dear Freelancer,

maybe or maybe not (what a sophisticated answer innit?)

Even I am getting to be bored about this so let's finish it quick.

1.a.speak english 1.b. dont speak english
2.a.able to read 2.b. not able to read
3.a. read the text 3.b. dont read the text
4.a. enjoy 4.b. don't enjoy
5.a. it makes sense for you 5.b. it doesn't (make sense) for you

So if 1.a and 2.a try the 3.a. I hope 4.a. and 5.a are going to come. If 4.a. but 5.b. it is still good. If 4.b and 5.b ,too well I beg your pardon for wasting your time.
See you in the battlefield
чaбa

Ps.: if I understand properly comerad Slip, I can say with him:
yes, cheating is baaaad

csaBa написал:

if I understand properly comerad Slip,

ПАЛИВА!!!!! он русский шарит!!!!! :ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja:

Slip написал:

ПАЛИВА!!!!! он русский шарит!!!!! :ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja::ninja:

то не он, то гугель шарит. а гугель не все слова шарит. :ninja:

Cutter Slade написал:

гугель не все слова шарит.

добавим! :D

csaBa написал:

and they have the biggest mouth

dangerous practice :rolleyes:

FoxMulder написал:

Так в итоге, какую смысловую нагрузку несет все вышесказанное?

все очень просто:

csaBa написал:

Avoid to kill ...

:yes:
Stop violence, play chess!

Dr.Salvator написал:

Stop violence, play chess!

one figure eating another... BRUTAL!!!!1111 :woot: :woot: :woot:

Пропаганда пацифизма на сервере Кс:D

Dr.Salvator написал:

Stop violence, play chess!

:)
I make a deep bow to your wisdom, dear Dr. Salvator. You not just properly understand but perfectly explain my thoughts. I should learn this haiku-style speaking, as they say : talk less, say more.

Dr.Salvator написал:

csaBa написал:

and they have the biggest mouth

dangerous practice :rolleyes:

oopsy :laughing:

Ps.: and what does 'sho cheaters ETA bad' mean? and does sbody know a good russian-english online dictionary? thx

csaBa написал:

oopsy

wanna t-shirt? (sorry DoZZer ;))